Just a Thought...

In 2003 I founded a local social networking group called Inspirational Friends which quickly rose to over 100 members. We all have an interest in Mind, Body, Spirit subjects and for a while I produced a newsletter consisting of several articles, some of which I wrote. My articles were well received and so I thought I would publish them here for others to enjoy. The group is still on-going although I have since moved away to heavonly Devon. An extensive website is regularly updated www.inspirationalfriends.co.uk.

List
The Dash
Judgements
Rules
Christmas
Paul
False Expectations
Sychronisity
Blind Men and the Elephant
Teenagers
Thankfullness
Stopping Thoughts

THE DASH
I read of a Reverend who stood to speak at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning... to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears.
But he said what mattered most of all was the dash between the years
For that dash represents all the time she spent alive on earth,
And now only those that loved her know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard, are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left you could be at dash mid-range.
If we could just slow down enough to consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger and show appreciation more,
And love the people in our lives like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect and more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy’s being read with your life’s actions to rehash,
Would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent YOUR dash?

Linda Ellis (www.lindaslyrics.com)

MY DASH! By Lisa Lyman
I first came across this poem sitting in my dentist’s office (comes highly recommended if you want a referral!), last August reading a copy of the NFSH’s magazine Healing Today.
I had one of my moments when I am totally gripped in the now and want to shout out and tell everyone of the importance of this information. If only they would all listen and really hear - how many lives could be changed for the better?

It stayed with me, the simplicity of it, and equally, the magnitude of it! Your Dash! Little did I realise how poignant it was about to become. My brother had been having stomach problems since July. He underwent several, rather unpleasant, tests and finally explorative surgery in October. I wasn’t prepared for the diagnosis: advanced colorectal cancer.
With very little cancer in our family, and my brother being reasonably healthy and 38, this news coming as a shock doesn’t begin to explain my reaction.

Totally stunned and numb, I fought to make my brain and body function and moved in for a few days to help my sister-in-law with their new baby and 3 year old son. I’m not sure how much help I was but I soon realised if I was to be strong I needed to pull on my beliefs and make sense of this “drama” I found myself in.

I started to seriously think about my own life. What would my funeral be like - did I even want one? How about my eulogy, what would people say about me, my life? This poem floated back into my mind and made me question what was I doing with my Dash?

I have always lived comfortably with the fact that I would be really old when I died, coming from a long line of women reaching their 90s and beyond. I have also been told, by several reliable people over the years, that I would be very old and would choose my time to return “home”. Being such a long way off, I was just moseying along not spending much thought on what I was doing with my Dash. Until now. What was I supposed to be doing with my Dash?

I had been toying for several years with the idea of setting up some kind of a community. It had changed over time and I had now come up with a simple format that I was confident would work. What was I waiting for?

In early January, Trish Longworth invited me to a meeting with her and Anne Yarwood to discuss a new newsletter. Driving home in the dark it became very clear to me that the time had come to launch Inspirational Friends. That week, my body felt as though I had my finger in a socket! I was so charged with excitement I could barely sit still! I knew it wouldn’t be easy, and I knew that at some point I would be really challenged when my brother’s time comes, but the time had come to pay attention to my Dash and that it was as important as the two dates either side of it.

So here I am less than a year after my wake-up call. I have 50 members and counting, 3 Clubs with a joint regular attendance of over 50 people a month, a monthly newsletter and a fantastic website!

So many people have thanked me for sharing information and making it available to all. For showing them they shared beliefs and interests with a lot of other people and were not the only ones locally, and, importantly, for helping them to gain a sense of belonging. But My Dash isn’t only about my destiny, it’s also about my everyday relationships, the face I show the to world.

There were so many faces of Lisa; mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, neighbour. When thinking of my “gathering” (I don’t want a funeral) I realised that different people would talk about the Lisa they were familiar with and it would be different to the one other’s knew. I felt I had to fit in with different people’s requirements.

The time had come to be brave and to show the world only one me, the one I was most comfortable with, the one who embraced and honoured my beliefs. I knew it wouldn’t be easy for some to accept, but by paying attention to my Dash I needed to be true to myself, and thereby, everyone else.

So that’s how this poem affected my life. What has it done for yours? Has it stirred anything within you?

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Judgements
One of the wonderful tools of self-discovery is letting go of the need to be judgemental. By doing this we find ourselves able to connect with other people on a more honest basis. We see past the daily stresses and strains of life on another person and look beneath that to connect with the “real” person. It also enables us to be less harsh upon ourselves and more open to real, honest, relationships.

By not judging someone it enables that person to be inspired by us (even when that isn’t our intention!) and we find ourselves inspired by others. Catch yourself making a judgement of someone and then make a point of letting it go. That maniac driver you encountered on the road for example. Did you shout, hit your horn, swear even? How long did you hold onto those negative emotions for? Who did YOU take them out on? Was the driver intending to make you, a stranger, angry, frightened or intimated? Or had they just found out someone they love was in trouble and needed them as soon as possible? Maybe their mind wandered for a moment, you know, how yours does on occasion.

How about that bad-tempered, rude girl on the checkout? She barely looked you in the face and just mumbled at you. Whatever happened to customer service you ask. Maybe she just found out her boyfriend’s cheating on her, maybe she’s waiting on some test results that might change her life forever?

By making a judgement of how a person is behaving in that moment towards you, prevents you both from encountering the wonderful people you both truly are. By being judgmental you’ve missed an opportunity to connect with another human being. Just a couple of kind words may have made all the difference in the world to her, to think someone cared. This, of course, also applies to the judgements you make about yourself. Do you beat yourself up regularly or do you let them go and aim to do better the next time you find yourself in a similar situation? Have you noticed that the judgements you make about others often reflects what you most dislike about yourself?

Today drop your judgements and look beyond the colour of their skin, their appearance, how they talk, where they live, what car they drive etc. Look beneath that and find the real person. I suspect you’ll find your day less stressed and you will realise how many incredible people you actually come into contact with each day. Just a thought!

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Rules
We all live our lives using sets of rules or guidelines. You know the ones I mean: I’m not good at …., I can’t commit, Oh, that’s not for me, I’m not worth it, I’m too old. The list could go on forever! When someone says something nice about you how do you feel? Does what they’re saying fit in with your rules or do you think they are just being kind because that can’t possibly be true? How about saying something nice about yourself - now there’s a challenge for some of you!

Now, these rules are fine when you’ve come to them from personal experience but how many of them do you live with but don’t realise where they’ve come from? These are the rules that determine how you choose to behave, how you spend your life, the choices you make, how you interact with others, sometimes, even, whether you are happy or sad.
When we are born we are like a blank video tape and we record absolutely everything we hear, see, sense, feel, experience etc. Unfortunately as we are growing up we don’t have the ability to be selective. For example, your Mum is having a really bad day, everything is getting on top of her and you knock over a glass of milk “Look what you’ve done! You clumsy girl” She overreacts and shouts at you. You are upset, quite rightly so, and you tuck her words away in your sub-conscious.

Now, if that happened to you today you’d have several options open to you; you could be sympathetic and ask what has really upset her to overreact that way, you could walk away until she’s in a better mood; you could even shout back! As a small child you don’t yet have those options. An adult is telling you that you are clumsy, adults don’t lie to you, they love you and take care of you, therefore it must be true. You then spend the rest of your life believing you are clumsy. Guess what, it isn’t true!

Just think how many people, especially adults, children interact with each day. Are they all being careful with the words they use, do they realise what an impact those words can have on a person’s life? The answer is no as we are all living the Human Experience and non of us is perfect.

What I’m inviting you to do is to question the rules you live your life by. The next time you think “oh, no I can’t do/say that” be like a toddler and ask Why, answer yourself and ask Why again and again. Ask yourself to back it up and prove it.

Learn to use your discernment. Tune into your gut feelings, the ones you use when you’re in a situation and something tells you to be careful. Don’t just take your behaviour for granted - question it. In fact, if you’re anything like me, you’ll probably be very good at questioning why something is the way it is.

Here’s a short story: Mary looked forward to her mother coming for Christmas dinner. She bought all the trimmings and cooked the turkey to perfection. Her mother gave her all the praise she was hoping for. Then she asked why Mary had cut the turkey’s legs off before cooking it. Mary was puzzled. She answered “well I’ve always cooked it that way”. “Yes I know dear but it has always puzzled me why you do that.” Mary was totally confused, after all, her mother taught her how to cook. “I do it that way because you did it that way” she said. Her mother burst out laughing “But Mary, I did it that way when you were a child because we had a small oven! So where do your rules come from? Just a thought...

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Christmas
Yes, that seasonal time is upon us once again. For some, this is a time to look forward to with great joy. The joy of buying gifts for others, making your house festive with all the decorations both inside and out, planning a huge feast for all the family, parties to go to. Equally though, there are others who read that, not with a smile on their face but a chill down their back - which are you? Maybe what we need here is a little perspective. Let me share with you my favourite Christmas so far…

It was the first Christmas Obray and I spent together back in 1989. We had gone to America (from Italy where we had met), we had been ostrasized by his family and were living in a small apartment in Boston with cockroaches and mice and a large, intimidating man upstairs who regularly flooded our apartment. Obray had tastefully furnished it with furniture discarded in the street (we referred to it as skip shopping) and with a very nice set of shelves made from breeze blocks! As you can tell we really didn’t have any money.
We occasionally treated ourselves to Pringles and, like most things, we tried to find another use for “leftovers”. On our way home on Christmas Eve we came across some chopped up branches. “I know just what to do with that” he said and proceeded to collect some up. Somehow he managed to turn three empty Pringles cartons and some old branches into a wonderful Christmas tree. Nothing went to waste as we used the lids to make decor-ations. Obray’s crowning glory was the shiny gold star he made for the top. The presents were all carefully chosen and very practical - except for some extravagant Hershey’s Chocolate Kisses - well it was our first Christmas together!

We ate a small roast chicken (‘twas the year before becoming vegetarian) and some roast vegetables. We went all out on a $2.95 bottle of wine and snuggled in front of the out of focus black and white TV!

But it still warms my heart to think of that Christmas. The lack of money forced us into using our creativity to make what we couldn’t afford, but most importantly, we did it together.
For some of us this is our first Christmas, for some of us this is our last. If you knew this was to be your last Christmas what would you do differently? What would be important to you? For me, this Christmas is about quality time with my family. The weather, the food, the decorations are just trimmings. To spend quality time with my family in a warm, relaxed atmosphere, now there’s a nice thought!

So my Christmas wish for you is for you to think about what is truly important to you. Keep a check on those judgements and rules we’ve thought about in past newsletters and be present in those special moments coming your way. Don’t be blinded by stress and expectations. Just a thought...

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Paul

For those of you who are avid readers of this newsletter, you will know that my younger brother Paul was diagnosed with advanced colorectal cancer in October 2002 at age 38. We were all taken aback, including the surgeon, with the diagnosis and how advanced the cancer was, having spread to so many organs.

We were told it was unlikely he would make Christmas, but not only did he make it he surprised us all by turning up in his new Lotus Elise (sports car)! He took charge of his life and started fulfilling some of his wishes and dreams.

He took his 3 year old son Sam and new baby Matthew to Lapland for Christmas, and then to Disneyland Paris later in the year. He took his wife, Judith, to Bristol and shared his old haunts with her from when he went to University to do his PhD, and on other romantic weekends.

Matthew got a great start in life with full attention from his dad and is a relaxed, easy going baby - although he did pick up one or two traits, he’s a little demanding and knows his own mind!

Paul battled on in extreme pain throughout the year and decided for this (2003) Christmas we would all spend it together in nice large house in the Lakes. In November he and Judith took a “once in a lifetime” trip to Egypt. They went on a hot-air balloon ride where he gave her an eternity ring.

This Christmas was not to turn out quite how he planned it. Paul became very ill very quickly in late November. After seeing his family and close friends for the last time, Paul passed over on 6th December.

The church was packed full of people from different areas of his life. Everyone stunned. I sat at the front next to his coffin trying to take in that my brother’s body was in it. A breeze blew into my face and then again through me and I immediately felt better, comforted. His 17 month son sat in his pushchair and didn’t make a sound through the whole service. He just looked passed the coffin into the empty corner of the church where I too was compelled to look.

Afterwards my children told me of a butterfly they had seen resting on the wall. A butterfly on a cold December morning inside a church - surely not a usual sight - a sign from my brother perhaps?

I am the only one in my family with my beliefs and my brother was the worst to chastise me about them as he was a scientist and wanted physical proof. My father has found a way to tolerate them, my mother is curious. Imagine my surprise when my father starts talking about the signs Paul’s giving us that he’s still around! He lovingly recounts the night Sam’s Woody doll (from Toy Story) started talking at 1.30am!

As I said Paul was a scientist and he seems to be completely enjoying himself letting us know he’s still around. Light’s are flickering and bulbs are blowing, Judith’s smoke alarm went off 3 times in a row the night they came back from the Lakes. Her car alarm repeatedly went off one evening, more than 15 times - having never gone off once before. He’s definitely having a laugh!

Suddenly, people are turning to me for information, limited though, I’m not to go into the weird stuff like reincarnation! People’s minds are suddenly open to the possibilities.
Paul has visited me twice in my dreams since passing and both times has given me a much needed big hug for which I am very grateful. I know he is fascinated with what he can do where he is, all these new skills to experience. I know he is looking out for his family too.

I think we can take comfort from his story, his strength, his resolve. Don’t wait for a situation like his. Look at your life now. Is it what you want? If not, what are you waiting for? Before you know it, you will be reading this newsletter and I’ll be talking about 2005, not a lot will have changed, just some more good intentions.

People’s lives change instantly, dramatically, all day, every day, all over the world. What makes you think yours won’t? Will you be in a position to handle it when it happens. Will you have a huge list of regrets? Does Spirit really have to be that severe with you to make you take notice of your own mortality?

The time to make those changes is now, not tomorrow. Sit down, figure out what you want from life. What do you want to give of your life? Just do it - now!

One of the many gifts Paul gave to me by taking on cancer, is doing just that, getting on with my life. I still fall by the wayside with “there’s always tomorrow”, but I’m getting much better at living today. Just a thought….

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False Expections
When asking for guidance on what the “thought” would be for this issue, I didn’t seem to get any response - or maybe I couldn’t hear it! The clues usually come from things my friends say or I hear on TV and the same topic usually comes in loud and clear. I set the intention that it would be more “light-hearted” than last months and then I sat back and, fully aware, waited.

So here I am now writing this feeling slightly abandoned. In fact the more I think about it the more I realise several areas of my life have suddenly become rather quiet . The postman rarely visits, the phone hardly rings and the email’s hardly worth checking!

Last month’s Wokingham Group meeting was only attended by 15 people having never dropped below 26 before. People who were keen to help the Network can no longer do so for various reasons. What’s happening? Is this the end of the Network? Should I start panicking now? Have I made a terrible mistake? What went wrong? I was so sure!

And yet, I remind myself, we now have over 100 members and Kathryn’s done a fantastic job with the advertising. I’m being contacted by people further a field, news of the Network is spreading. So has it all gone wrong? Of course not!

Talking with others it seems that many of us are being forced into a reflective state of mind. This is taking many shapes, listening to what we are guiding others to do, feeling less than cheerful, tired, forgetful, help “falling” away ... mourning the loss of a loved one. Time to go back to basics, go within, remind ourselves of our goals and intentions, see if they are still where we want to go. Time also to check that our methods and directions are the right ones for us.

Many of us are also feeling the need to clear out, get rid of over stuffed rooms, attics, shelves. This time, not to make room for new “stuff” to fill the spaces, but to leave the spaces there! Maybe it’s also time to do that for our minds.

We all know meditation is good for us to do everyday, it quietens the mind, gives it a rest. How many of us actually do this? I, for one. am the first to tell people in crisis to remember to meditate - when it comes to me, when is there time? Of course there is time! There is time to do everything you need to do. It’s all a matter of priorities!

Meditation takes many forms and you don’t need a quiet room to sit in for 30 mins - that’s just an excuse to put you off! How about when you’re doing the dishes? When you’re in the bath? Even on the loo! (I’m sure there are many meditation experts who would agree and those who would disagree with me over that!) I feel the point of meditation is to quieten the mind to let the answers have a way “in”.

Searching for my own answers to the unusual state I find myself in, I came across Nina Holman’s website: www.souldestiny.co.uk. In it she talks about the mind being out of sync with the soul, leading to a sense of confusion. Through meditation it allows our soul to “talk” to us while the mind is quiet and for us to regain our sense of being in balance. Back to basics. You see I needed a reminder: the answers are always within you, not outside you. Meditation is the key to unlocking them!

So my panic is over and was short-lived. Now my awareness is heightened once again to see the new possibilities as they approach. We set our goals and intentions and how we expect to reach them. We feel good and know we are headed in the right direction. What we forget though is that sometimes the Universe knows of another pathway, one we haven’t thought of, one that is better for us.

When you are sure you are going in the right direction with your life, and then it feels as though it is falling apart, don’t panic, don’t give in to fear, ride it out. Go within, meditate and have faith and “listen”. Then enhance your awareness and get excited. New opportunities are on their way! Just a thought.…

Remember:
F False
E Expectations
A Appearing
R Real!

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Sychronisity
Like many people, I have read and marvelled at The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. Have you ever looked back over your life at the synchronistic events that have happened to bring you where you are today? Here’s a few of mine….

Because I changed schools, I changed career direction and did a secretarial course - because of that course I became a legal secretary - because I broke my arm I met my good friend Julie (a legal temp) when she temped for me - because I met Julie I found the strength to leave everything behind and backpack around Europe - because our backpacks were very heavy we rented an apartment for several weeks for a rest! - because we rented an apartment I met my American husband renting another apartment - because he was American I fulfilled a life-long dream of living in America - because I lived in America I fulfilled another life-long dream of living on the coast - because the coastal community I lived in was rich with holistic practitioners, therapists, shops and centres I found it easy to put my feet firmly on my spiritual path and I haven’t looked back since!!

The synchronistic events in my life now happen continuously. Wait, maybe I should put that another way - because I know that synchronistic events happen I am more aware of them! Areas of my life aren’t what I had hoped they would be. But they have all been very important, without them I wouldn’t be where or who I am today. I am happy to be the me I am today. The journey has, at times, been very dark and difficult. Today it isn’t but it may be again and I am ready for that because I have learnt on my long journey of synchronistic events that:
situations don’t last forever - for me today, they change frequently; and
each event in my life opens up new possibilities for me and introduces me to people who contribute to the fine tuning of the person I am happily becoming.

How about you? Have you ever looked back over your life to see how it all fits together? How did you become the person you are with the life you have today? I find it fascinating - maybe you will too - give it a go!

Oh and don’t forget to become more aware of the ‘little’ synchronistic events that happen today! Just a thought…

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Blind Men and the Elephant
I find it absolutely fascinating when it comes time to decide what the topic will be for this column. I put the question out to Spirit and Spirit answers me by bringing up the subject everywhere I turn! I “work hard” on being aware and find it quite easy for things like this column, however, like most people, I seem less aware when it comes to looking at my own behaviour patterns!

So this issue’s thought is about perception. I remembered the story of the Blind Men and the Elephant which explains it perfectly. For those of you who don’t know this parable here’s a nice version (and for those of you who do know it here’s a nice reminder!)...

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.
The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"
The Second, feeling of the tusk
Cried, "Ho! what have we here,
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me `tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"
The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up he spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"
The Fourth reached out an eager hand,
And felt about the knee:
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"
The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"
The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope.
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"
And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

John Godfrey Saxe's ( 1816-1887) version of the famous Indian legend

So, my Inspirational Friends, next time you are sure your opinion is right, think again! Our opinions and expectations are based on the information we filter through our individual perceptions. Had the men embraced each others’ perceptions or even just the possibility of the others’ experiences, could they have come up with the complete elephant?

Maybe another’s perception, although very different or even appearing opposite from our own, is equally valid. Could individuals, families, governments and religions opening up to this possibility take us all a step closer to a more peaceful world? Just a thought…

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Teenagers
Last month, much was made in the media about self-harming, especially of our teenagers. I heard one staggering statistic that 3 pupils in each High School class will be self-harming in some way. Combine that statistic with this one: more teenagers die by committing suicide than die by any other way. Think on that for a moment…

I have been unable to get this out of my head. What drives them to self-harm and even suicide? When we consider the challenges a teenager faces today, maybe we can understand a little better. Take, for example, their bodies. Not only are they going through physical changes, and all the comments and anxieties that brings with it, they are also going through hormonal changes – I, for one, can fully appreciate that!

So we all appreciate, and to some extent, remember what that was like. Did we not feel like adults inside but felt restricted by our parents and other authority figures who didn’t seem to have changed with us? So we can appreciate some of the stresses our youngsters are under. We have all been through this difficult metamorphis so what do we do to help the next generation? We challenge them further by forcing education on them, life changing choices: what subjects to study; what career; what further education; how many exams; what sort of study program. How many of you would like to be put through all that now without the hormonal/physical changes as well? I, for one, would find it very difficult and stressful.

We teach adults stress-relieving techniques. We not only offer them complementary medicines and therapies but offer classes so that they can learn how to do it themselves. We have pubs; sports centres; adult classes and yes, even Inspirational Friends social events to spend time with like-minded people with the offer of more knowledge to aid in our self-development.

What can teenagers do to ease their stress? Where can they go? What activities and skills do we provide them? It would appear they find their own ways to release their stress, they turn to rebelling; drugs; committing crimes; self-harming; binge-drinking; pregnancy and suicide.

Is anyone offering them the knowledge and skills that we as adults so actively seek? Are we giving them the chance to deal with their stress in a positive way? Is learning to meditate, as an example, a simple, basic skill that would greatly help our next generation to study and aid with their stress levels?

It seems to me that the bottom line, once again, is money. Teenagers can’t afford to go self-development classes such as meditation; yoga; tai chi. Of course, first of all the classes would need to be offered to them and that costs money, but mostly time, and we don’t seem to have a lot of either to spare these days.

So I seem to have ranted a bit in this Just a Thought… and I don’t like to be negative about a subject without offering up some solutions. It seems to me that Inspirational Friends connects a lot of people with various skills and knowledge and a whole lot of Love and Light. Can we, together, find ways of sharing that with our children and teenagers? Can we go into schools and offer sessions of yoga; meditation; tai chi; aromatherapy to name a few of the more “acceptable” methods of reducing stress?

I’m up for it if you are. I know that if a group of us got together we could really make a difference. I’m willing to offer my time to organise it. Maybe we could start something that will change those horrific statistics. Get in touch with me if you too would like to make a difference in some young lives or if you know of any programmes already running for children and teenagers. Just a thought….

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Thankfullness
As you may know I lived in America for 9 years in the ‘90s. This gave me plenty of time to get to grips with their celebrations and in particular Thanksgiving. In my opinion, Thanksgiving being towards the end of November spoils Christmas, but it is a tradition I have chosen to carry on with my family.

Every Thanksgiving we sit around the dinner table with the traditional meal including squash and sweet potato, excluding the turkey as we’re veggies! One by one we each tell of seven things that we are thankful for, for this year.

Knowing this is coming up gives each of us the chance to think over the year at the positive things that have happened - even though at the time they may have felt to be negative. Telling each other gives us an insight into what the other members of the family consider their blessings. We always have the usual, “I’m thankful for my family, our home, the meal I’m eating” but then you get into the deeper, real ones.

We are constantly bombarded with negative images of the world and the communities we live in. We all have sadness in our lives in some form. Having one special meal once a year forces you to focus on what has happened to you this year and the blessings that came from it, even if they were hidden at the time and are only revealed through hindsight.

As we move into the season of Christmas we also need to take a more realistic look at the people around us. Those that we take for granted everyday. There is a lot to be said for living in the now, although I don’t seem to manage it for long, it is something I strive to do. Take time to really be in the moment, the smells, the tastes, the feel of it. Try to do it at least once a day. You may realise with surprise that a lot of what you find stressful and of great importance, really is an illusion and being fully “in the moment” they will become insignificant. Hindsight proves that to us.

The New Year is almost upon us. Many of you will make resolutions with resolve to carry them out, only to lose sight of them. Maybe you ask too much of yourself. Making an affirmation is a great way to change your behaviour, but it is much easier to take “baby steps” rather than a massive change all at once. Something to think about before you’re asked what your resolutions will be.

My wish for each and everyone of you, and myself, is that we find the ability to slow down. Take time to smell the roses and realise our blessings in the moment not in hindsight. Find the Love in our hearts and in those who cross our paths and freely forgive negative behaviour as we have no right to judge. Just a thought...

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Stopping Thoughts
The title of this column is Just a thought… and as you know thoughts are very important and need to be paid attention to. I was moseying along caught up in my everyday life of taking care of Inspirational Friends and the Wokingham Group when I realised that they had actually overtaken my desires by filling all my time, mostly in front of the computer. As I gradually realised this I started to resent the fact that I wasn’t drawing, painting, making stained glass and all the creative things that I love to do.

Our dream was to live in the country, eat fresh food, breathe fresh air and make a living from selling my artwork and stained glass and Obray’s furniture. An idyllic lifestyle some of you may say. But so many thoughts got in the way.

Not one for thinking outside of the box, and not one for change I found myself getting frustrated with everyone and everything. Then I started to listen to my thoughts - why can’t you move to the country? Why do you need an income before you move? Why do you have to have enough money to build your dream home? Stopping thoughts. I gradually started to challenge my “stopping” thoughts that had prevented me from living the life I wanted and started to think more “what if”?

My sister-in-law gave us the idea of a starting point with finding a school for Jeremy who starts high school in September. That then gave us an area in Somerset that interestingly has good transport connections with my family and friends.

We let go of the idea of the dream house and decided to rent for a year or so. For an income we are turning to what we know how to do and are going to refurbish several properties and in between those we are going to build up our arts and crafts business - how? Well that will come into place.

Sometimes, you have to go out on a limb and just have faith that everything will turn out ok. You also have to leave room for the Universe who know more than you and let yourself be guided as to the outcome.

If we decide how something is going to be, and exactly how we are going to get to it, we make it harder for ourselves to achieve it. We don’t know the future but our Helpers do and we need to be less rigid with our thoughts.

So that’s our plan, now we have to see if the Universe agrees! Part of the move is letting go of printing this newsletter. I shall still write this column and keep you updated and I am still very interested in receiving your articles but we are going to make more use of the website and include it all there. I also need someone to take over the Wokingham Group and I shall open a new group in Somerset when I am settled there.

Since sending out the January e-zine announcing our move, so many people have emailed us back to say how envious they are of us. Envious of what? That we stopped listening to our Stopping Thoughts and opened our minds to new possibilities. We think that we will find the happiness we seek moving to Somerset and living off our artistic abilities. Keeping our minds open has to include that the move to Somerset is just another stepping stone and that there is still more to come.

If you are one of the envious ones, examine your stopping thoughts - why in the world would you stop yourself from having the lifestyle that you want? Just a thought...

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